the waiting, the in-between, and limbo.
“I feel like I’m in limbo.”
In the last ten months or so, there have been countless times that these exact words have exited my lips with no way of return.
Has anyone else had that moment of, “no wait, come back, I didn’t mean that”?
If you’re new around here, Derek and I have been in transition and much waiting in preparation for our Air Force venture to begin. This liberally stretched out process has required us to close our business, move in with my in-laws and simply wait with much uncertainty to plan for. What we thought might be just a couple of months before shipping out, has now celebrated it’s one year anniversary with an unidentified amount of month-iversaries to come.
For the first few months, it seemed fitting to label this time as “limbo” with a chuckle to accompany it. But for the latter part of this transition I’ve felt deeply convicted in what was seemingly harmless, and yet, was in fact harming my purpose.
If I constantly look at this in between time, waiting for the next stage to begin, as an uncertain period with no divine purpose then I might just believe myself into missing out on divine opportunities.
When I picture limbo, I see an eternal white space - a space filled with floating and inactive people aimlessly waiting for an endless amount of time for whatever’s next - hoping that next comes as fast as it possibly can. This limbo-like mentality can become weakening and quite scary. Doubt can arise and force you to question, not just your life decisions, but your purpose all together!
Limbo is a big bully that backs you into a corner of consternation and complacency.
Have you ever felt this? Maybe you’ve graduated college, with no job opportunities in sight. Maybe you’re suffering some sort of loss, whether it be a job, financial, or even a loved one, and there’s no light at the end of the pain and mourning tunnel. Maybe you’re someone whose life seems to have been placed on pause because of some debilitating condition. Or maybe you’re a MILSO awaiting a homecoming that keeps getting postponed “until further notice.”
While the feelings of stagnancy can be all too real, I know that God uses and repurposes all things for good! How dare I limit where He has me as nothing more than endless, white, motionless, space!
Where I am and where you are, is no mistake. What is mistaken is that our gifts, our love, our time, and our stories can’t be used because whatever season you find yourself in was all unforeseen or unplanned. I want to let you all in on a little secret – God foresees it all. I also happen to know that He is in the business of using broken and imperfect people, in not just our well laid out dreams and plans, but even more so in the interruptions, the unexpected, and the inconveniences.
Imagine what we can accomplish if we stop perceiving unanticipated time as something we need to just get over or get through and start seeing it as opportunities for potential and purpose.
Maybe God can meet you and use you before you get to where you think you're headed. Are you available?
Maybe you don’t need to wait to find your calling to be used by God. Are you listening?
Maybe He has purposed this change of plans to change your heart so that when you “arrive” you’ll be better prepared and more whole. Are you moldable?
Maybe the point isn’t in achieving the goal or getting to the next stage, maybe it’s the process in which you are flexible and resilient on the way. Are you surrendered?
Maybe you can be the kind of person who is always preparing and patient in the waiting seasons, yet seizing them as opportunities to be passionately purposed! Are you willing?
Our purpose was never intended for a specific place or time - it's moment by moment with Christ leading the way.