anniversaries and some not-so-hidden truths about marriage.
Four wild and wonderful years married to this handsome man of mine.
Wild, because he’s spontaneous, adventurous, daring, and has endless energy. Wonderful, because although I’m the opposite of all those things, and he stretches my capacity and comfortability nearly every day, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s interesting how marriage is mirror like, reflecting to you all the things you are – and are not. All the while reminding you that you are enough and that you bring precious value just the way you are.
Just. Like. Jesus.
I wonder at how wild it is that God has intertwined so much of His own character into the marriage design. He’s so creative to have hidden Himself in plain sight. To have strategically placed His extraordinary truths into our ordinary romance. And yet, it’s anything but ordinary because God’s presence in marriage is undoubtedly uncommon.
Reflecting on these last four years of marriage, I found some parallels of truth effortlessly lying there, just waiting to be noticed!
My husband is evidence of God’s grace on my life.
I literally can’t pray for Derek without bawling my eyes out in gratefulness (in private, usually). What I have realized in those intimate times spent on my knees, thanking God for all that Derek is, and all that he will be, I am humbled by how much I do not deserve him. Just as I don’t deserve Jesus, He gave Himself to me anyway and pursues me unconditionally.
I am so privileged that The King sitting on His throne, surrounded by angels, leaned forward, and listened with loving intent to my elementary school prayers and graciously gave me exactly what I asked for – and beyond what I ever could’ve imagined. Not only did I not deserve this answer to prayers, but God’s grace is all about topping what you think is best, because His best is always better.
My husband is home and an adventure all in one.
It’s a common feat for military families to establish a sense of home, when uprooted every few years. Now, we’re brand new, but being the homebody I am, and currently living in a hotel, I am finding myself having to redefine my sense of “home.” With the warmth and security of having my husband back after his two-month training, I can easily say I am home with him – nothing feels better. However, living life in this “hurry up and wait” military fashion, is quite the rollercoaster.
What I’m realizing is that God is both home and an adventure all in one as well. That no matter how thrilling or uncertain life gets – even when He’s called us to a particularly crazy path – He is warmth and comfort, unshakable security, and my safe place where I can shamelessly throw my hair up in the messy bun, put on the jammies at questionable hours of the afternoon, and ugly cry with. Home is not brick and shiplap but rather wherever the presence of His Spirit dwells, and His Spirit is always with me – in His presence, I am in fact, home.
My marriage is a mirror and so is Jesus.
It wasn’t until I was married and living with Derek that I realized how OCD or controlling I was. It wasn’t until our schedules merged that I realized how introverted I am. It wasn’t until Derek planned daring activity after activity, that I realized how much of a chicken I am. It wasn’t until I started cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for an appetite such as Derek’s that I realized how much meat I don’t eat. It also wasn’t until I was married and living with Derek that I realized how much my organizational and planning skills were necessary. Or that my insight and perspective kept the two of us from making many mistakes.
It wasn’t until I looked into the marriage mirror that my strengths as well as my flaws were amplified. It wasn’t until I gave my life to Jesus, that He did the exact same thing. He showed me my faults, shortcomings, and selfishness but exchanged it for His power, His redemption, His favor. Where I am challenged by my husband and my marriage to step out of my norm and be a little more flexible, Jesus also challenges me to release the routine and characteristics that have potential to bind me, and grab onto His way instead. And in all of that, He reminds me of how He sees me: unique, loved, and of great value. It’s in facing the reflection where growth lies, and God’s best for my life and my marriage is inevitable.